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July 16 2017

18:29
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18:28

dannykinks:

as much as i love the idea of dan wearing pastel colors all the time i can’t help but appreciate how good he looks in all black

17:14

dork-empress:

hansgrubr:

hansgrubr:

butchgender:

the WORST kind of movies r the ones where the nerdy girl is in love with popular dude and he ignores her but after starting to wear make up and pretty clothes he suddenly falls in love with her hetero culture is disgusting

what’s wrong with straight guys wearing makeup and pretty clothes?

wait that’s not what you meant

Now THAT would be a movie

16:46

infj-fish:

Yeah um I already played out this confrontation like 10 times in my head so if you could stick to the script I imagined for you, that’d be great, thanks.

16:18

jackpotlucky:

jokeboy:

adults: why do teenagers need anti depressants lmao
adults: *get a lil stressed* *abuse their kids*

Dead Fucking Ass

15:49

shez-sensitive:

sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen

15:21
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beachdeath:

lesbianrey:

this is so wild and i’m so into it

me and my wife walk into this hotel for our honeymoon dressed as han solo and luke skywalker and all of the hotel employees have to be like “congratulations on your gay wedding, butch lesbian han and non-binary luke, here are the keys to the millennium falcon honeymoon suite, also thank you for saving the galaxy, you’re heroes” and i (luke) lower my prada shades and say “i’m no hero, i wake up in the morning and put my louboutin boots on one leg at a time just like anybody else” and then i tighten up the sash on my custom leather balmain bodysuit and i march over to the elevators with my aforementioned louboutin boots clicking conspicuously on the marble floor, arm in arm with my wife han solo, and then we zoot up to the penthouse floor and hang the do not disturb sign on the door of the millennium falcon honeymoon suite and then we just bang in the cockpit and play holochess for a week solid

14:53

eeveestevie:

If a girl ever wore lingerie for me I think I’d die

14:51
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14:51

Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes

sonicsarah1117:

uncannycookie:

Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”

Sheep: *VERY LOUD ACCUSATORY BAA*

Customer: Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

I still love this lol

14:25
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mysharona1987:

When you realize Trump supporters care more about Trump than they do about their own country.

14:04

if you're waiting for me to take a hint

moonlandingwasfaked:

it won’t work.
consider the following: i’m a dumbass

14:04
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babyanimalgifs:

this is so cute

13:57
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July 15 2017

05:28

affectionatesuggestion:

you’ll find someone who wants a future with you. who looks forward to seeing you, texts you back, and cares. it may take time, but it will happen.

04:32

just-shower-thoughts:

Naming babies makes you think of all the people you’ve disliked

01:16
01:16

Women do not have to:

skella-whore:

  • be thin
  • give birth
  • cook for you
  • have long hair
  • wear makeup
  • have sex with you
  • be feminine
  • be graceful
  • shave
  • diet
  • be fashionable
  • wear pink
  • love men
  • be the media’s idea of perfection
  • listen to your bullshit
  • have a vagina
00:46
2161 5177 390
00:18

problackgirl:

Me: *wants to talk to you*

Me: *has nothing to say*

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